Thursday, December 29, 2011

This Could Save You A Lot of Money....


The holidays are all about family and togetherness, which for some may be a pleasant kind of togetherness and for others, may have a stress rating that is off of the charts. I love my family and the stress level is RELATIVELY low during the holidays. However, there are moments when parents get frustrated with their children and children get frustrated with their parents. In my case the latter probably applies. My stress started a few days prior to the actual holiday when I had to take my mother Christmas shopping. I think it’s true that in old age we regress to our younger years, needing to see the bathroom in every public place, wandering off to the far regions of a department store so that the person responsible for us cannot seem to find us. In the spirit of the holidays, I kept a smile plastered on my face the entire time, because I love my mom and all I really want is for her to be happy and enjoy herself. Shortly after returning home from the shopping trip, I saw the beautiful sight of one of my very best friends pulling into my driveway in her big red truck, which at that point might as well have been a Learjet, taking me on a European Vacation. My dear friend, who is also a member of my “chosen” family, simply got me out of the house and away from the stress of the season, for a few hours and a FEW THOUSAND much needed laughs. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Being on Winter Break, I am missing the friendly faces I am used to seeing around campus and in class.

Christmas Eve was spent with my husband’s family where we do a crazy goofy gift auction. Everyone spends $25 on exchange gifts, and has the chance to auction off their wrapped gifts. We all have $100 in play money to use for bidding. This year my 18 year old twin boys participated for the first time and we all had a blast. The catchphrase of the evening for each auctioneer was “This could save you a LOT OF MONEY!”  This applied to such gifts as a paint can pouring lid, glow stick necklaces and a fourth of July hat, a Spongebob Chia Pet, golf balls, throw pillows, a pizza cutter, a picture that says “Happiness” (which provoked the joke that our fake money CAN buy happiness) and my personal favorite:  the indestructible Aluma Wallet.  My son Cody and I had both purchased the Aluma Wallet without knowing the other had for our gifts. Cody actually bid and won the one I had up for auction. The Aluma Wallet is one of those “As Seen on TV” items. It is waterproof and you can run it over with your car. Just in case you want to go swimming with your wallet, or if you are prone to dropping it in the driveway right behind your tires.  So after all of the laughs and the auction, as we pulled into our own driveway, we tried it out… put it behind the tire and backed up. The commercial was right, maybe proving that you CAN believe everything you hear on TV. 

The Indestructible Aluma Wallet, moments after being run over.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Winter Break - Is This What People Call a "Break"?


When I finished my last class of the semester, that last final exam, that last piece of homework, all I could see looming ahead of me was one long relaxing month without classes or homework or exams.  I am proud to say I finished the semester with a 4.0 GPA, which I worked very hard to earn, so I deserve a little break. Because I work most days, it is not a complete break, but we still have a few Mondays off for Holidays since they fall on the weekend. And considering one week of the break I don’t even have to taxi the kids back and forth to school, I was envisioning a life of leisure. The life I SO DESPERATELY want to become accustomed to!  At this point you are either laughing at my ignorance or shaking your head and saying “What kind of fool is she? What kind of fantasy world does she live in?”  Exactly.

Does it ever seem like the more time we have available in the day the busier we become? I am suddenly running twice as many errands.  My daily list of demands from my children, husband, and mother has tripled in the past week or so. I have been doing Christmas shopping at 7 in the morning at Wal-Mart because I cannot stand the crowds and that time of the day is so peaceful, but also because the rest of my days are consumed with my duties as Personal Assistant to the United Nation of My Family.  I have become a bit cranky and disillusioned about the holiday season at this point. Yet this morning I realized in the midst of all of this chaos, there have been some really special moments.


Since my twin boys are now 18 years old, it becomes more difficult to shop for them. Cody wanted me to put him on my phone plan and give him 4-6 months of complimentary service for his gift.  No problem. He works, so there won’t be any issue with him paying me once his “mom-paid” service ends.  Mack wanted a tattoo. I am sure you have guessed by now that I am not the most conventional mother in the world, so I liked that idea for a gift. I have a few tattoos myself, so it is not something I am opposed to, as long as it is tasteful and there is some meaning behind it. He chose to get anchors on the inside of each of his forearms, to symbolize how sometimes his beliefs hold/weigh him down. He is not a conformist by any means, and this has often held him back from being accepted by some kids his age.  Yet this is such a good trait, to have such confidence and strength in what you believe that you don’t conform to what your peers expect. Not only did I pay for the tattoo, but I went along with him to get it, and that was the best gift he could give me. I know some of you probably think it is a little crazy or may question my parenting, but it was a shared experience, good for our mother/son relationship, as even though I told him I wouldn't care if any of his friends came along, he chose to only share it with me. As a parent of teenagers, you often take a back seat to friends and girlfriends, so it means a lot when your children want to spend time with you. Because you not only want them to spend time with you, but you want them to WANT to do it. So when they do want you with them, and when they do share a really cool moment with you, it means a lot.  You can’t wrap that up and put a bow on it, but I would take that over a store bought gift any day.     


Sunday, December 18, 2011

13 – 1

This morning I woke up at 8am to shop for a toolbox/tool cart – OK LET’S BE HONEST, I AM NOT EVEN SURE WHAT IT IS CALLED.  All I know is that my teenage self probably hates me right now.  This is partially because for a short chunk of my life I never understood Sunday to be anything other than a day of resting until the early hours of the afternoon.  And this is partially because when I woke up my husband was pulling up You Tube videos to show me the last half hour of Saturday Night Live that I missed due to my famous ability to drop into a dead sleep in mere seconds, and practically anywhere.  In fact if you ask my mother, she will pull out the old photo albums and show you pictures of me at 4 years old sleeping in a kiddie lawn chair, on the patio, shortly after lunch, on any given afternoon, in the spring or summer.  These days Saturday Night Live is more like Saturday afternoon let’s find it “on Demand”.   Last year I actually called my daughter in sick to school on a Monday morning so we could watch the on demand version of Taylor Swift’s SNL hosting gig. 

The real reason for this early morning shopping, other than the fact that my husband was terrified he would wake of Christmas morning to a cute pink toolbox the size of a Barbie Doll accessory, or maybe him to lead me to the correct door as I stood in front of a department store door marked “out of service” waiting for it to auto-open, was to get it over with before the Packer Game. Today was the day, after all, that “we” were going to be 14-0, “we” were going to clinch the home field advantage for the playoffs, and “we” had an easy game... so we thought. If you have lived in Green Bay for any period of time you understand that when I say “we”, I mean the Green Bay Packers.  This is probably the only NFL city that refers to the team as “we”…. I am not sure where that came from, but I understand that 99% of Green Bay residents sound like they are actually PLAYIN ON the team when they talk about the Packers.  Well, “we” didn’t win. In fact, in what should have been one of the easiest wins of the season, “we” proceeded to have an epic fail. 

After the game, posts venting and complaining about the loss inundated my Facebook page.  The few Wisconsinites I know who don’t like the Packers were gloating, as were friends from out of state.  In the grand scheme of things, what does this loss really mean? Because honestly Our World Champions managed to pull it off last year with a much worse record.  Does this loss mean Green Bay will suffer a small recession?  Did this wreck Christmas? Do we realize there are people in this world with much bigger issues than worrying about whether “we” lost? I still love the Packers, however, it is only 3 hours of my week. Everyone should just calm down now, because after all, the Survivor finale is on in a few hours.  And then we will all have something else to complain about. 

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Fine Art of Resolutions and Lessons

Is a New Year’s Resolution simply a way of giving us an excuse for our behavior all year long? Is this a way to redeem that “bad” behavior much like confessing our sins? It could be. This is exactly why I have resolved not to make any resolutions for the coming year. In the past I have failed miserably at all of my attempts.  My gym membership rarely used in the second half of this year, that copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird” still sitting on my nightstand unread, the clutter in the basement still doing its whole clutter thing, recipe books untouched, promises to visit friends in far away places never fulfilled…. I could go on and on.  I might have done these things had I not put so much pressure on myself to do them.  It no longer seemed like a decision, but instead an obligation.  So as the New Year approaches I am going to sit back and hope for the best, in silent thankfulness that the year that just passed was not a complete train wreck. Most of it was in fact rather pleasant. This is far more productive than setting myself up for failure with goals that I lose enthusiasm for right around February 1st.

Although I did not fulfill any of my goals for New Years Resolutions, I did learn a few things in 2011.

1.  PICK YOUR BATTLES – Sometimes we need to fight the good fight and sometimes we have to just agree to disagree.  Sometimes, the truth is, you just can’t win.  The time you consume with losing battles is time better spent on more productive or even leisurely activities.

2.  IF THE KARDASHIANS ARE BAD FOR ME, I DON’T WANT TO BE GOOD – Yes, I know, reality TV is a waste of time.  Yes, I know I complain that they are “all over the place”.  Yes, I know I profess my disdain for the materialism and ridiculousness of this show and how on some level I know it is likely “scripted”, but I can’t stop watching it.  Keeping up with The Kardashians, Kourtney and Kim Take New York, Khloe and Lamar do whatever it is they do. I can’t get enough of it.

3.  YOUR DOG IS JUST LIKE A NEWBORN BABY WHEN SHE IS SICK  - For some reason our dear sweet Boxer/Shepherd mix monster of a dog has had her share of tummy troubles this year. This caused me many sleepless nights cleaning up after her, and suffering from tremendous guilt for being angry about it.  It doesn’t help that I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since 1993 either.  

4.  A GOOD RED WINE TASTES PERFECTLY FINE WITH FROZEN PIZZA – Enough said!!!

5. YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILDREN AS ADULTS IS A MUCH LONGER TIME SPAN THAN THOSE FIRST 18 YEARS – YET WHAT YOU DO IN THOSE FIRST 18 YEARS DETERMINES THE OUTCOME OF YOUR ADULT RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.  – Bittersweet as it may be, this is absolutely true.

6.  THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE – What are the things that measure you as a person in society?  I used to think those were material things.  I now understand that is absolutely incorrect.  The best things in life are those without value or measure.  Emotional depth, compassion, forgiveness, kindness, doing unto others… that stuff cannot be measured. Some people very close to me have taught me recently that being at peace with who you are and the path you are following in life has much more value than that new Coach purse. 

Thursday, December 8, 2011

If you're going through _ _ _ _, keep on going....

Some have credited this quote to Winston Churchill.  Some others would simply say it’s a country song by Rodney Atkins.  Personally, I would call it the motto of my week.  Finals week, and although officially we have one more week of classes before “official” winter break, I “final”ly (yes that’s a pun) feel like I am on the downhill slide.  I am sure it is a shared sentiment, as my Facebook page has been littered with posts such as, “THIS SEMESTER IS FINALLY OVER! and boom goes the dynamite.” (Thank you to my cousin-in-law Nellie for that one! And yes, I know your grown up name is Danielle – so forgive me.)  I can soon breathe a sigh of relief, yet I am grateful that the opportunity to continue my education has actually breathed new life into me.  Though you took my breath away, now I want it back… for at least those 4 long awaited weeks of winter break.

As the holidays approach, I am perhaps the most ill prepared momma in the history of all mothers.  I have yet to buy one Christmas gift, and when my (gosh how did that happen) 18 year old boys send me off each day with a list of demands including: “Don’t forget to buy my cap and gown”,  “I am out of lunch money” and “I have to work at 11am on Saturday”, I wonder how mommies of the past survived without a calendar on their smartphone. I have been so wrapped up in end of semester homework, studying and exams, that I forgot to buy anything that gets wrapped up and put under my new and improved pre-lit Christmas tree.  This week I had perhaps the worst exam of my life, which tested my confidence and left a bad taste in my mouth.  Thank you Assessment Center for providing the free tootsie rolls to cure that.  Yet, there are some simple things that have renewed my spirit. Walking past the library, and sneaking up on perhaps the best friend I could ever ask for, courtesy of College Math, on a day I was desperately in need to see a friendly face.  A reprieve from thinking and breathing law to discuss childhood family memories with my wonderful niece at work today.  Singing “Silent Night” and “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” at my daughter’s middle school choir concert sing-a-long finale.  So as I sit in my living room by the light of my pre-lit, you weren’t all you were cracked up to be, it may have been easier to string the lights myself, on sale from Wal-Mart pre-lit Christmas tree, with no presents underneath it… I know one thing. I have the best gift of all.  Too bad it’s impossible to wrap a big box of love and put a bow on it.




Saturday, December 3, 2011

SECRET SECRET


On Wednesday I learned of a great new website www.postsecret.com.  Sounds intriguing, doesn’t it? Being the nosey Nancy Drew type, when my Oral and Interpersonal Communications instructor, Valerie Swartz, made mention of it, I had a visions of something mysterious and worthy of a 48 Hours Mystery Episode.  Our class that day focused on self-disclosure. How much do you disclose to anyone in your life? How much is TOO much (to the point of making people uncomfortable or giving the perception that you are a few chips short of a bag)? How much is too little (to the point of being perceived as empty and less exciting than watching paint dry)? Many of us feel ok “putting it all out there” on social networks such as Facebook.  There might be a false sense of security because we are not disclosing anything face to face.  I always find it unsettling that technology has replaced flesh and blood interaction, and in some ways has turned up the narcissism volume a notch.  Self-disclosure on a social network, via email or even via text is easier because we can be whoever we want to be; yet all of the non-verbal signals are missing.  If we are unable to experience the reaction of the reader in person, we might miss cues that perhaps we are going to far with what we are disclosing.  The reader also is missing those non-verbal signals that would accompany our words and perhaps alter the meaning of the message we intend to convey.  On the other hand, there are those who choose to keep so much to them, that others never really get to know them.  I have personal experience with this, as the significant other of a friend of mine chooses to self-disclose so little, that I am always left with an empty feeling after I interact with her.  In fact, though I have known her for 6 months, I still don’t have a sense of who she really is. 

In class, our instructor, Val, suddenly posed a question to us which most of us might not ever think of.  She brought up a valid point that every single one of us has certain things that we might not feel comfortable disclosing to anyone, not even to our best friends, parents or spouses.  The question was “What do you do when there is something you do not feel comfortable disclosing to anyone?”  Obvious answer would be “Dear Diary…. I feel ashamed of my weight.  Dear Diary, I spent a night in jail for shoplifting.  Dear Diary, I purposely sabotaged a co-worker just for the simple reason that I don’t like her. Dear Diary, I DO have a favorite child.  Dear Diary, I sometimes think I might be better off dead.”  So we write in a journal, or we talk to ourselves in our head about it, but this might not be enough to get it off of our chest.  What if you could say anything you wanted and put it out there into cyberspace, but do it completely anonymously? Well, you can.  Frank Warren created a website, http://www.postsecret.com/, where anonymous secrets are posted in a creative manner.  Anyone can mail their secret to Frank Warren on a postcard WITHOUT a return address, and he will post it on his website.  The website shows creativity, sadness, insecurities and humor.  Even if you did not want to send your secret to Frank, just reading them make us feel like maybe we are not so alone.  When we write something in a journal or a diary, we likely think we are the only person who is feeling this certain thing, or the only person this is happening to.  The Postsecret site gives us an opportunity to read what others are feeling or thinking, and perhaps makes us feel as if we are not so alone.  If you submit a secret, it could be simply cathartic. However, it could also be rewarding to know that we might be helping others, who thought they were alone in their thoughts or experiences.  I am very grateful to Valerie Swartz for sharing this with our class.  She is a great instructor, but perhaps her best quality is her huge heart.  Anyhow, check out the site.  I think each one of us can find something worthwhile in it.

With that, though it’s not anonymous, I would like to leave you with my “secret” of the week: 

Calamity Karrie is experiencing the seven plagues of broken appliances right now, just holding my breath and waiting for the locusts to arrive.