Is Everyone Always a Winner?

It is officially “mid-term review” week, meaning not only do I have an arsenal of homework to do before the end of next week, but I also need to study the finer parts of employment law and civil litigation.  Being a complete overachiever, I will be unhappy with anything less than an A on these exams. Of course, any old A is not good enough for me much of the time.  You might say an A is an A, but in my mind, I want to get 100% on everything, which we all know is just not possible! No one is perfect, everyone has room for improvement. Yet when I get 98 ½ points out of 100 on an exam, I am the most likely person to go talk to the instructor to try and at least get a ½ point more on it – especially if it is an essay question. My handwriting is horrendous, so the fact that we have to write essay answers out with a pen rather than type them, often does not serve me well.  Last semester part of one of my essay answers should have read “interpretation of the Constitution BY the Supreme Court”, but instead I wrote something that looked like “interpretation of the Constitution OF the Supreme Court.”  The teacher put a nice question mark and asked me to explain what the Constitution of the Supreme Court is?  Right – it DOESN’T exist. The instructor in my scenario above could have easily “given” me the points by assuming I meant to write something different.  But what if I didn’t? What if I really didn’t know what I was talking about? What is the moral of the story here? (Ok, I am not sure there IS one – but I am going to try and conjure one up!)  In order to do well on an exam, you MUST study. In order to succeed in the work world, you must excel at your job. 

Although, if what I am saying above is true, why is it no longer “fair” to keep score at young children’s soccer games? Why does everyone get a trophy and told everyone is a winner?  I understand I might sound jaded. You might think that I don’t understand the reason why some don’t want our children to be so competitive at a young age because we don’t want our children to have hurt feelings, but I also take issue with this. In some ways, will this “everyone’s a winner” idealism leave them ill prepared for the real world?  For college and for the work world?  Will they grow up to think that no matter what everything will work out ok because otherwise it wouldn’t be fair?  And perhaps even think if it doesn’t go their way, they can do something to fix it, whether it is sign a petition or complain about it on Facebook?  It’s something to really think about, isn’t it?

School, Cars and Goodbyes

It’s hard to believe that spring break is only a few weeks away.  I cannot even begin to think about spring break until midterms are over.  Tomorrow I have my first quiz of the semester and I am crazy nervous about it.  For some reason I have 50 pages of notes to study for a 20 point quiz and though much of it is review, I am overwhelmed with information.  At some point our brains must hit maximum capacity, right? What happens when my brain is overloaded with information? Does my head implode? I spoke with my sister today and we agreed that we both have inherited some kind of neurotic gene that makes us worry incessantly.  Even when something good happens, we will think of the worst-case scenario.  I need to stop living my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Though I wouldn’t mind if a pair of shoes dropped as long as they designer Manolo Blahnik disco shoes, worthy of a night at Studio 54. 

Amidst all of the chaos that is every day life, our family had to say goodbye to and oldie but goodie last Friday.  Our precious 2000 Oldsmobile Alero had to be towed away to auto salvage graveyard, where old cars go to die.  Being the emotional nightmare that I am, after being handed a generous check from the salvage yard I turned around and took one last look and shed a few tears.  The Alero is by no means a luxury car.  In fact I believe somewhere back in 2002 or 2003 they stopped production on Oldsmobiles all together. Yet this was the first car my husband and I purchased together as a married couple, with both of our names on the title.  This car has been with us through trips to the country, trips to the city, camping trips, also driving through snowstorms and torrential rain.  This car has seen its share of sand from the beach, fast food wrappers from the kids, and even a little snot from our daughter when she was little.  It has been filled with car seats, dog and dog hair, luggage, winter hats found shoved under the seat in summer, schoolbooks and backpacks. It also has been the courier of some of the most precious cargo I could think of.  My husband, my friends, my pets, my mother, my sister, my children, my children’s friends.  And in the past year it has been the primary vehicle for my teenage twin boys.  The Alero has made late night Taco Bell runs and countless trips to the gas station because mom just needs a Coke.  It has sat parked outside of Franklin Middle School as one of the boys waited to pick their sister up.  It has sat in the parking lot of West High School, or on the street outside of the school.  It has been parked in friend’s driveways, family’s driveways; it had an argument with a fire hydrant …. And it lost.  It has spent hours in the parking lot of PDQ Car Wash or McDonalds, while one or the other of our teenage sons was working. So I want to take a moment on my blog to honor the Alero…. You weren’t just a car Oldsmobile Alero, you were my friend. 

Everything is Not Always Hearts and Flowers

Today is Valentine’s Day.  The Catholic Church recognizes three saints named Valentine/Valentinus (a little history/theology lesson).  One of those “Valentines” apparently continued to perform marriages after an Emporer outlawed marriage because he felt single men made better soldiers. We will probably never know if that is how Valentine’s Day came to be known as a holiday associated with love. If you search the internet, you will find a plethora of speculation about this holiday. For some people, it is just another day.  For others, it is about romance and roses.  And for even others, it is about genuine love for families and friends.

I have never been a sappy romantic. I have always liked Lilies better than Roses.  I am not a big fan of chocolate (I am probably going to get my “girly girl card” revoked for saying that). And I prefer those fits of hysterical laughter and teasing between my husband and me to candlelit champagne dinners where we gaze into each other’s eyes. Let’s be honest, after almost 18 years together, that kind of thing wears off.  It is replaced by a deeper love, which gives a sense of comfort and security, and knowing you ALWAYS have a date for Saturday night.  It is replaced with the knowledge that there is one person in this world made just for you that will always have your back, will agree with you even when you contradict yourself, and will wipe the tears from your eyes when a parent dies, when a friendship ends, when your children are sick, when you have just had a bad day at work or school. It is the face that you know you want to wake up to every morning for the rest of your life.  It is the person who accepts you and you accept them, flaws and all... when you are decked out in sweatpants, hair all a mess, scrubbing the toilet… this person will walk in and tell you that you are beautiful. And you ACTUALLY feel like you are, as long as you don’t get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror at that moment!!!

So today, on this day, whatever your plans may be…take a minute to love deeper, speak sweeter, and give the forgiveness you’ve been denying. Be the husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/mother/father/brother/sister/FRIEND you might not always be, but the one you would like to have.  Make today worthwhile and if you can't be with the one you love, then at least love the one you're with.

♥

The Race to Freeze Time

Today, as I was finishing up my work day and organizing tonight’s homework, notes and books, I realized that I am over halfway done with the race toward my degree.  (When you are 40, everything is a race, in case you are curious about that analogy.  Simply an analogy, as anyone who truly knows me will know three famous words of mine, “I DON’T run!”  In fact, if you went to high school with me, you might understand that races are not for me, considering I don’t think I even knew our school had a gym until graduation!)  It is a slightly bittersweet feeling.  The overachiever in me wants to be done and put the degree to good use.  But there is this other part of me that just wants time to stop.  I had a job a few years ago that I did not care for as much as I should have.  During the few years I worked there, a co-worker and I had a saying, “Let’s just freeze Sunday.”  There are days that I feel that way about classes and my current situation in life, why can’t we just freeze time?  Not so much just Sundays but life in general.  I am lucky to feel this way, as so many people want a rewind button or a do-over option in life.  Not me. Not on this day.  So even though my to-do list keeps getting longer, and my patience with it often gets shorter, I don’t have much to complain about. 

Tuesdays are perhaps the longest days in the history of the world for me these days.  I get up, take kids to school, go to the gym, go to work, try to squeeze in a little cleaning and homework, then off to my night class, home to eat dinner and maybe if I am lucky a little bit of sleep.  Make the most of your day today people reading this blog.  Treat yourself to a _ _ _waffle today and today put some extra syrup on it.  Have a good one. 

Slow Down, Take a Deep Breath...

The first few weeks of the semester always seem like a walk in the park.  You are getting to know your new instructors, understanding expectations, possibly meeting new classmates.  It usually takes a few weeks to get into that comfort zone, and in some classes, you just never have it.  However, as we get into the 3^rd and 4^th weeks of school, we suddenly find ourselves inundated with homework, studying, obsessing over upcoming quizzes and presentations.  Like anything in life, if you blink your eyes, you will miss this moment.  There are times I find it difficult to focus, because the whole time this whole world of academia is spinning, LIFE is happening.  This semester, I am mostly taking online classes, due to increased work hours as well as the craziness of having 18 year old twin sons who need moms help planning for the future and a daughter who is on the threshold of her teenage years. I am discovering payback for all of the moodiness I projected onto my own mother as a pre-teen and teen.  Thank you mom for putting up with me. I love you and yes, now I know what you meant by those famous words, “Just wait until YOU have kids!”

The thing is, I really wouldn’t want it any other way, yet I feel the need to slow down and breathe lately.  (If you have seen me lately, you might think to yourself “Um yea, I get it.  Considering you are walking around wearing your glasses for the past week, we see you have SLOWED down enough not to even put your contact lenses in.”  Actually I have some eye infection going on, which incidentally my sister has too…. possibly a genetic disorder that causes us both to break appliances and have ailments at the same time.  Maybe we should just sit back and wait for the locusts to arrive.) I am making the choice to stop and take in everything around me and appreciate what I have, what I have been through, and what has made me what I am today.  Sometimes I spend so much time looking forward, that I miss the opportunity to live in the moment.  I am going on vacation in six weeks and I am promising myself not to spend the whole time taking photographs.  Rather than being focused on capturing every moment in a photograph or written words, I am going to try and just LIVE IT.  So maybe I can find a way to do that in “real life” as well.  Ok, not that I am taking photos of everything in my life, it’s just kind of an analogy.  Gosh, I AM doing that now that I think about it!!!  What is wrong with me?? The point is every moment shouldn’t be a story to tell, but instead a story to LIVE.