Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is less than a week away and though many people are focused on opening gun/deer hunting weekend aka deer hunting widow's weekend, Black Friday shopping, or a few much needed days off of work, I would like everyone to take some time to consider what you are thankful for in your life this year.  Since most of the big holidays occur at the end of the calendar year, it seems to be a good time to reflect on the past 12 months.  One year is 12 months, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525,600 minutes or 31,536,000 seconds.  That is a lot of time to consider.  Many families have a tradition to go around the Thanksgiving dinner table and take turns stating what they are thankful for.  In recent years, the downturn of our economy has likely changed what we are thankful for.  No longer are we thankful for material possessions, expensive vacations, and a six figure income - the things we are thankful for are often things we cannot put a price tag on.  Some of us are thankful to be working at all, even if it at a minimum wage job or two jobs.  

I asked some friends to tell me what they are thankful for this year, so before I get into my own list of "giving thanks",  I would like to share some of their responses:

" I am thankful for my family ...but im also thankful for facebook cause in the least year alone i have found alot of people that i normally would not see on a regular basis and to find them well and to catch up on old times or family that is in other parts of the state that i get to either talk to or just read what they are up to....cause nowadays you just don't know what can happen from day to day....one day they are here and the next they are gone. I have had a lot happen in the last year."

"My savior, my family, my health, and the world for it is our play ground."

"my kids, first and foremost. but i am sooo thankful for my family and friends. and I am really thankful for my ex husband. He really showed me what i DONT deserve, and from that, I became independent. hahahahahaaaa."

"I'm thankful for a roof over my head, food in my belly, a job, parents & a brother that i love dearly."

What am I personally thankful for this year?  My beautiful, intelligent and healthy children. My husband who is the hardest working man I know, loves me more than anyone ever could, thinks I am beautiful even when I am not, and is truly a partner in life showing me the meaning of "no matter what, we will make it work."  My mother, my sisters, my brother, my brother in laws, my sister-in-laws, my nieces and nephews and cousins and all of my extended family.  The opportunity for education.  The roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in at my cozy new home I moved into this year.  The ability to work, regardless of how much or little money I make.  My dog who is neurotic and goofy and a little bit dumb, but is truly a member of our family.  Conversations at the kitchen table with my family and friends. Friendships that give me a second family and make me feel a little less alone in the world.  The kindness of friends and family.  Understanding. The freedom I have because I am an American citizen. Church and my faith in God, whose hand I have felt on my shoulder guiding me through life so much in the past 12 months. Unlocked doors which mean I might come home to unannounced visitors or I may be an unannounced visitor in someone else's home. Friday nights and Sunday mornings. Genuine laughter.  Sunshine. Forgiveness I have been given and have found.  And finally...my life... filled with love.   

188 Days Until Summer

Yesterday with the first flakes of snow falling from the sky, summer seems like a hundred years into the past or the future. I was personally confused about these flakes of snow thinking it was possibly dust flying out of my head to clear it from the crazy weekend, but it turned out that it was indeed snow.  As expected, Facebook was loaded with posts about the snow, but one comment caught my eye.  My best friend's daughter made a comment "189 days until summer!"  I responded by stating that makes it sound so far away.      With the positivity that only a 13 year-old could possess, she told responded back by telling me to "just do 189 crazy things, and it'll be over like thaaat!"  At my age, "crazy things" are a bit different than what they used to be.  Regardless of that, it got me thinking about fun things to do that will pass the time of these winter months, especially when many people suffer from seasonal depression.

Sit around a bonfire or in front of a fireplace drinking hot cocoa and eating s’mores. Add Bailey’s to the hot cocoa. Make snow angels. Go sledding.  Jump in a pile of raked leaves.  Spend the afternoon at the library. Spend an entire day in pajamas reading books. Have a Holiday movie marathon including “A Christmas Story”, “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  Go to the Garden of Lights at the Botanical Garden.  Take your kids, grandkids or someone else’s kids to meet Santa at the mall.  Write letters to friends and/or loved ones who are in the military or overseas and will be away for the holidays.  Do the Polar Plunge.  Go for a ride on the back of a snowmobile.  Go to a tree farm where you can chop down your own Christmas Tree.  Play a board game with your family. Play Wii or Xbox Kinect games with your family.  Watch the Packers win more games. Spend the weekend at an indoor waterpark.  Dance in the rain or snow and sing at the top of your lungs.  Sing Karaoke.  Invite friends over to your house for a fondue dinner.  Buy a Christmas Gift for a less fortunate stranger.  Make up goofy new lyrics to all of the Christmas Carols you know and sing them at the top of your lungs.  Get a manicure, a pedicure, or a new hairstyle. Buy cheap Christmas ornaments at the Dollar Store and decorate them yourself in your own creative way.  Have a chili cook-off with your family and friends.  Put on a formal dress (prom dress, bridesmaid dress, wedding dress) and spend the entire day in it just walking around your house like a soap opera star.  Bake Christmas Cookies and get creative with your decorations and do a cookie exchange with friends. Do a “winter cleaning” day.  Buy a fur coat at Goodwill and wear it to the grocery store.  Shovel snow for a neighbor.  Have a snowball fight with your kids, your dog, your friends.  Build a Nativity scene or Christmas village out of popsicle sticks.  Go wine tasting on a Saturday afternoon. Make breakfast for dinner. Make dinner for breakfast.  Watch the sunrise on a wintry day. Watch the snow melt on a spring day. Spend the day in fuzzy slippers.  Wear a Santa hat.  Go ice skating.  Play laser tag. Make a fort with blankets in your living room.  Move your couch or loveseat into the kitchen. Have an indoor picnic.  Have an indoor picnic by candlelight. Go to Sam’s Club and try all of the free samples. Visit a museum.  Visit a local art gallery. Join a book club. Join a cooking class. Make a meal for someone who is extremely busy and deliver it to their home.  Write a Christmas Play and act it out (complete with costumes) and video record it.  Kiss someone under the mistletoe.  Write inspirational thoughts on post it notes and stick them all over someone’s house who needs cheering up. Make a snowman. Do a jigsaw puzzle. Call someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile and talk on the phone rather than just text or instant message. Throw a party with a “worst holiday sweater” contest/theme.  Build a snowman.  Knit a scarf.  Eat an icicle. Cut out snowflakes and hang them from your ceiling like you did in elementary school.  Write a short story, a long story, a song or a poem.  Go to a music store and try out all of the instruments.  Babysit for someone who desperately needs a night out… for free. Make someone laugh.  Make a photo book as a Christmas gift for someone special. Spend all day with your best friend just talking about anything and everything.  Laugh until you cry.  Cry until you laugh. Take a bubble bath.  Eat macaroni and cheese in the bubble bath. Volunteer for a cause you believe in. Clean out your closet and donate what you don’t want, need, or fit into to charity.  Go to the gym. Re-arrange your furniture.  Ask someone to be your valentine.  Drink green beer on St. Patrick’s Day.  Kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s Eve.  Make a music video.  Make a parody commercial.  Learn to play guitar.  Take a horse and carriage ride.  Replace your regular lotion with suntan lotion so you smell like summer.  Have an indoor beach party.  Go downhill skiing.  Learn to ski.  Write a letter to Santa from your adult self.  Sing in church, at the top of your lungs. Dance with a stranger.  Hold hands.  Tell someone you love them.     

And lastly.... make your own winter "bucket" list! 

The Holidays Are Right Up The Aisle

Does it seem that immediately after Halloween, we skip directly to this Christmas mindset?  As I was (last minute) costume shopping for my Halloween, initially I was unable to find the Halloween Costumes.  Walking down the main aisle at Shopko all I could see was a beacon of Christmas lights and trees and decor.  I finally found the picked over Halloween aisle hidden next to scads of wrapping paper, Santa Claus decorations, and basic Christmas Bling!!! I probably should not judge considering when I moved into my new house on September 1st, my biggest worry while arranging my new living room furniture was deciding whether to put an end table in a certain corner because that was where the Christmas Tree would go.  I am enamored by the faux Christmas Tree I purchased last year simply because it is pre-lit.  For years everyone I know has had a pre-lit tree while I fought with stringing lights, burnt out lights, endless last minute trips to Family Dollar because strings of lights from last year had burnt out and running back because I didn't buy QUITE ENOUGH to cover the entire tree.  My Christmas tree toppers have included a half decapitated Angel that my daughter broke because she thought it was a toy,  crooked stars that just didn't sit right,  heavy objects that practically tipped tree over, and something that looked like a glittered elf hat which caused me to find glitter all over my house well into Summer!  

My point is, once again, I am just not ready for Christmas yet.  I haven't even decided how big of a turkey my sister needs to cook for Thanksgiving, or reminded her not to forget the stuffing and we don't want that stove top junk,  or busted her trying to pass off pumpkin pie from the Piggly Wiggly as her own just because she took it out of the plastic container (this required me searching thru her trash to find the covers because NO WAY did she bake that pie!)  This year Christmas might be even more difficult for our family because as long as my son Mack who has a ridiculously high metabolism gains the 9 pounds required, he is leaving for Air Force Basic Training on November 26th.  This means that he won't be with us for Christmas.  This would be the first Christmas ever that he was away from me and away from his twin brother.  I have tried to focus on the true meaning of Christmas, celebrating the birth of Jesus, in hopes that would help me find peace  with my son's absence for the Holiday, and it has helped me a bit.  Christmas to me is not about giving or receiving grandiose gifts, the real joy in Christmas is that it brings family together and as Jesus would want it, it is about LOVE.  With this in mind, I believe we may just have to turn November 22nd into a holiday trifecta of Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's all rolled into that one day.  Money is tight these days so no, that doesn't mean early gifts for my family, what it does mean is a whole day full of love and togetherness.  I am pretty sure we can pull it off!

Happy Holidays!

Broke as a Joke

I am sure many of you poor college students can relate to the title of this post.  Many of you are young, immediately out of high school, and expected this.  And others are like me, hit hard by the economy, probably spent a few years overspending, buying things you can no longer afford because the money seemed endless and the sky seemed to be the limit for what you could earn, achieve, purchase, and accomplish.  However, like me, you now realize you should have been smarter with your money.  You should have set some aside for a rainy day, or the day you lost your job.  Had you done this, you may not have ever seen your material possessions disappear into thin air, repossessed, foreclosed upon or sold to make way for a cheaper version that you could actually afford because of job loss or a pay cut.  But alas, the glass is NOT half empty.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  These material things, this money you may have once earned, which felt like a status symbol, are not the things by which we measure a person.  Because my friends, the best things in life are free.  What's really important in life are the things that we cannot put a price tag on... think of those Master Card commercials and the one item they list as "priceless." 

Back in my 20's I read a book called "The Broke Diaries" which was written by a young woman who went through a slew of low paying jobs and whose meals consisted mostly of Ramen Noodles.  Back then I could relate, as I was living on leftovers my then boyfriend/future husband brought home from his job cooking at the Olive Garden.  (It's only in the past few years that I am able to stand the sight of Breadsticks and Pasta Fagiol soup.)  Years passed and we were blessed with prosperity that made me say things like "As GOD IS MY WITNESS, I WILL NEVER EAT GENERIC MACARONI AND CHEESE AGAIN!"  As life tends to do, it has come full circle and I am once again checking the couch cushions for change the day before pay day.  And once again, I can relate to "The Broke Diaries."  I could write my own broke diary! Yet this time I am not crying about it, or waiting for prosperity and wealth to return.  This time I feel thankful for what I DO have.  A roof over my head,  a family who loves me (my 18 year old son bowing down at my feet the other night because I made those hot dog/cheese/crescent roll wraps - a comfort food of his childhood - to him this is better than a lobster dinner!),  friends who are there for me and always take care of my family (dropping off bags of what one calls "b*llsh!t food"  a/k/a junk food causing my husband to profess his love for these generous women as we have a buffet of chips and dips and muffins standing at our "furniture in a box" kitchen island snacking away), those friends giving me constant loans of $20 here and there until payday,  and God, who I feel closer to than I ever have before, has blessed me with a beautiful life and looking forward to all of my tomorrows.  

That being said, even if I do come into greater prosperity and wealth in the future, I will continue to live a simple life.  I don't have any great dreams of grandiose material possessions; I am content with what I have at this moment.  I would rather use any extra money I have to give back to others that may be going through what I am going through myself at this moment, and give back to those dear souls who have helped me through rough times.  I will live my life with a greater purpose and understanding.  And just as it is right now, the greatest "riches" in my life will be love.  

What Is A Friend?

What is a friend? Is it a BFF, a bestie, a sister from another mister or a brother from another mother?  A friend is someone with whom you share my random, often ridiculous, thoughts and moments.  When you speak, a friend will listen, with interest and give feedback, opinions, advice, encouragement and when you need it, a little bit of tough love.  A friend will remember EVERYTHING about you, good and bad, because a friend wants to know you well enough to ACTUALLY know you.  A friend can predict your actions and reactions as if they were her own.  When you are hurt, a friend will feel that hurt and keep you in her heart even if she is not with you.  A friend is the first person you want to share good news with and when you are happy and will share that happiness with you.  A friend will care about your family, your health, your MENTAL health, your career, you goals and aspirations.  If a friend only has $20, she will loan you $15.  A real friend will have your back, no matter what – even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with you, she will take your side. A friend gives you a sense of comfort in life and in her home, and has the same comfort in yours.  A friend never has to knock on your door; she is always welcome to walk right in. A friend will share their family, siblings and forever friends with you.  A friend never makes you feel like a third wheel.  A friend will open your eyes to things you may have never seen and expand your interests and open your mind.  A friend can make you laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh until you are almost crying, sharing your same warped sense of humor.  A friend will help you overcome obstacles and heartbreak and hurt, even if it just means just sitting next to you in silence for as long as you need her to.  Friends are not afraid to cry in front of one other.  They share secrets during the darkest hours and also on the finest days.  Friends might go to hell and back fighting for one another and WITH one another.  A real friend will call you at 10:00 at night to work out an argument or misunderstanding from earlier in the day because she doesn’t want you to go to sleep feeling bad.  You will never have to ask a true friend for help because she will know when you need it and offer it up before you even have a chance to ask. 

So when someone asks me “what is a friend?” - it isn’t a simple answer.  True friendship involves layers and layers of complex STUFF and hours of conversations about anything and everything. True friendship involves adventures and shenanigans and inside jokes and catchphrases and laughter and tears.  A true friend is the one person who can make you feel better when it feels like God has finally given you AS MUCH AS YOU CAN HANDLE.  A true friend is part of your “chosen family” and a true friend is rare, but if you are lucky enough to find one, that person will help you to feel a little less alone in this big, big world. 

The Greatest Country in the World

In the midst of this election year and all of the drama that has caused family and friends to engage in Facebook wars and arguments with one another, I wanted to share something that I found not only amusing but also inspirational.  Although I personally keep saying "Ron Paul 2012!" or "people like Obama and people like Romney, but I just like wine", I do have my own political views.  I have tried my best to express them in an adult appropriate manner.  However, it is very disheartening to me that many Americans have resorted to name calling and middle school type tactics to defend their "side".  No matter what I agree with or disagree with, I am open to listening to for the opinions and views of friends, family, acquaintances and strangers and I respect their point of view.

The link attached pokes a little bit of fun of both sides, but also shows how two people (celebrities at that) can come together and teach each other a little bit about the "other side".  It shows that we do not need to have a Civil War over a presidential election, we can still love and respect one another and sometimes we just have to agree to disagree.  This is the foundation on which America was built.  Differences and diversity are what makes this the greatest country in the world and makes me proud to be an American.  Though some of you might relate to Sean and some of you might relate to Bob, look into your heart and find the real message in this short film.  One Nation, under God, indivisible we stand.

Click on the link below to watch the film:
Americans - A Public Service Message by Kid Rock and Sean Penn

Going directly to the 12th Grade from Kindergarten

Recently a friend of mine purchased an iPhone.  I believe she may be the last person on the face of the Earth who did not own a smart phone.  In fact, it seemed as if she used the same flip-phone since 1999 and had no desire to upgrade.  I am not sure if this phone was military grade which meant it did not incur damages when dropped on concrete or water spilled on it, and how could she go that many years without ever losing it?  It is hard to believe that one person could just be THAT CAREFUL with their phone.  Or that this person never had any desire to possess a phone with applications for Facebook, You Tube, Google Maps Navigation, or Twitter.  How on Earth could she even travel anywhere without a Navigator to tell her the best way to get to Australia was via Kayak across the Pacific?  I am not even sure if this phone had a camera... and if it did, I am doubtful it had the capacity to send or receive a picture message.  This seemed almost unheard of to most of our friends.  It became a running joke to say things like "hey Lori, take a picture of this... ohhhh wait you don't have a smart phone!!!"

So finally after years of tolerating being given a hard time, she purchased her very first smart phone.  Apparently her motto is "go big or go home"  or maybe she figured she would make sure no one could ever make fun of her phone again because instead of starting with something simple and stepping up as we all have done over the years, she went for the Cadillac of smart phones and bought herself an iPhone!  (Literally this is comparable to trading in a Ford Pinto for a Cadillac!!)  Since her purchase she has learned some new curse words as she learns to operate this phone, randomly calling people without wanting to, learning the joys of auto correct causing her text messages at times to become completely confusing,  causing friends to run to the rescue to save this expensive phone from pouring rain, spilled drinks and general damage which all of us long term smart phone users have learned to avoid!  This isn't your momma's cellphone anymore!  The only other thing I can compare this too is going from kindergarten directly to 12th grade, and skipping all of the grades in between.  Considering that, she is not doing too bad.  It is nice to be able to send her a Facebook Message at any time and know she can actually read it from her phone.  Or not to worry that she is going to get lost on her way to Australia!