You're Gonna Miss This

The little guy on the right, in this photo… is going off to college in a few short days.  This is how he still looks to me in my head even though he is now 18 years old!

On Saturday, my family of five will be taking one of my 18-year-old twin sons, Cody, to Milwaukee.  Saturday will be the last time he will walk out of THIS house, the house he has lived in since he was 10 years old, as we will have moved by the time he makes a visit home.  We will spend Saturday together in Milwaukee, celebrating his sister Rachel’s 12^th birthday.  It will be the last time the five of us will be together for awhile.  By the time Cody returns for a weekend visit or holiday, his twin brother, Mack, will likely be gone to Basic Training for the Air Force. 

On Sunday, after we move Cody into his new Dorm room at Milwaukee School of Engineering, we will be down to four.  In our family.  Moving into our new home.  I will probably cry all of the way home on Sunday because tears have been rolling down my face for the past 24 hours.  I have been so busy, coordinating the chaos that is my life recently as CEO of my household that I haven’t had time to feel anything, although I had been waiting for the tears.  Yesterday, thinking about my best friend taking her children on a family trip to enjoy one of their last days of summer, I started thinking about all of those late August trips my own family had gone on when the boys were the same age as her children.  I told her to hang onto every moment she could and make that day last a lifetime, burn the memories into her brain, because in the blink of an eye she would be sending her oldest off to college in a city that no matter how close it is, is too far away for any mother.   My tears have so many different meanings.  They represent my sadness about my son leaving, and another one to leave in a few short months.  Yet they also are tears of joy for the hope of the future, and what is yet to come.  For all of my children.  For my own life.  I am so proud of the young man my son has become.  His intelligence, self-discipline, kindness, caring and respect for others are just a few of his best traits.  One night recently he told me he didn’t know how he would ever “re-pay” me for all I have done for him.  Well kiddo, it’s “re-payment” enough to see you go out there and be the best man that you can become and follow your own dreams. 

I have never dealt with change very well.  Then suddenly boom goes the dynamite, I am hit with so many different changes all at once.  I could not get through this without my very best friends, who give me a shoulder to cry on and help me look forward to the future, who give me strength, and make me feel less alone with the words “you are always in my heart and I feel what you are going through.”  After all, when the boys were born, didn’t I tell everyone the best part about being a young mother was that I would ONLY be 41 when they grew up and moved out?   If only then someone had told me, “You’re gonna miss this.”  I probably would not have believed it anyhow, considering I was still growing up myself.  Thank you Cody for helping me grow up, teaching me patience and being patient with me.  You have grown into an amazing person with much to offer anyone who is blessed enough to have you touch their lives.