Coordinating Chaos

You know how people always say the pain of childbirth is the kind of pain you forget?  The same goes for the length of a full workday.  It is easy to forget how exhausting it can be to work a full day, focus on homework, domestic chores, as well as fulfill your duties as “personal assistant” to all of the people that you love.   I decided if I am ever rich the personal assistant needs her own personal assistant.  This week I felt more like the coordinator of chaos, but it’s winding down now and the light at the end of the tunnel that we know as the weekend is just over the horizon. 

I attended a trial this week in Appleton.  My Civil Litigation class requires students to attend a civil trial and complete an assignment regarding that trial.  I feel fortunate to be employed by a law firm with such wonderful attorneys who are always willing to do what they can for me, teach me, and help me succeed when it comes to my education.  One of the attorneys at our firm was representing a client who had a jury trial this week.  I was able not only to observe the trial, but also assist in some note taking during the jury panel selection process, known as voir dire, and do some timekeeping regarding the details of the trial.  However, the most beneficial part of attending the trial was that the attorney litigating used to be a paralegal, and took the time to explain the process; answer questions, and asked me my thoughts as the trial progressed.  I just didn’t realize how exhausting a full day in court would be. I remember the days when I worked 8am until 5pm each day, but I didn’t seem to be quite as tired at the end of those days.  I realized that my current lifestyle requires me to do these personal assistant duties, but also provides me with a change of scenery every few hours.  On a normal day, I am constantly moving from place to place, never stopping. I just gogogogogo all day long!  I realize now that I have forgotten what the routine of the workday is about and how much self discipline it requires.  Yet of course, I look forward to my career in the legal field. 

As the weekend approaches, I can’t help but feel blessed with the diversity that my life has afforded me.  And also how it has made me so much more adaptable in all aspects of my life. I am able to appreciate the structure of a full workday, as well as the chaos of being a kind of sort of stay at home mom.  I have friends that fall into either end of the spectrum, and I have so much respect for all of them; those who are structured into a workweek routine, and those who sometimes feel like they spend more hours than they would prefer to sitting in a driveway, parking lot, outside of school honking the horn of their SUV yelling “cab’s here!”, yet they are coordinating the chaos so well that it’s seamless to the children and the spouses.  No matter what category they fall into, they make it look EASY!  From personal experience, I know it’s not.  So this weekend, give an extra hug or thank you to the coordinator of chaos in your own life. Surprise that person with something to show your genuine appreciation.  Do something to make them laugh so hard they cry.  Whether it is a mother, a sister, a daughter, a cousin, an aunt, a dear friend or a husband, father, brother, uncle.   She (or he) will appreciate it more than you know.  

Change is Good

Tomorrow is officially Fall Registration day for continuing students at NWTC.  For me, this means registering for the last few classes for my program.  By the end of December I will officially hold an Associate’s Degree in Paralegal Studies.  Looking at the Fall class schedule yesterday to choose my classes I realized that I really don’t have much “choice” as far as classes go.  I have to take the few remaining courses left to obtain my degree in my program.  It’s hard to believe that time passed so quickly, and suddenly here I am wondering how I will fill my free time without homework.  Wondering if my conversational skills will become weak without all of those classes to stimulate my mind.  Not only the legal courses, which help me to often analyze life situations, TV shows and news programs, but also those general education classes which improved my communication skills, helped me to understand the economy and form my own opinions on economic policy, and of course taught me to translate math “story problems” about things like gears and pulleys.  (I honestly should use the strike out feature through my comments about math.  I still cannot decipher a story problem to save my life.  I sure wish those books would use life examples I could relate to – maybe ask me to calculate a 35% discount off of a $69 pair of shoes and I would understand!)

Lately I find myself having to hold back from thinking too far ahead into the future.  This semester is not even over and I still have piles of homework to do and final exams to take. And let’s not forget that before I graduate, I have to focus on my twin sons who will be graduating from high school in less than two months!  This week has been a particularly rough one for me emotionally and it’s only Tuesday?!! Yesterday started out booking a hotel room for Cody’s “accepted student visit day” at Milwaukee School of Engineering this weekend. Despite all of the life skills I have in addition to my academic smarts, I still find myself with some form of adult attention deficit disorder when it comes to booking hotel rooms.  I blame it on the internet. I have always said if you give people too many choices, they will always have a hard time making a choice.  A standard Google search for Milwaukee hotels seems to bring up about 584 results, which you can narrow down by location and price.  I am still second guessing myself for booking a hotel that was further away from downtown but with a more reasonable price!  My husband’s voice must have been in my head when I was doing this telling me if we are paying $200 per night... we are only staying one night OR we are JUST NOT paying $200 per night! My husband, who was not even going to go along, but decided at the last minute that maybe we should all go. The more I thought about it, the more I had to agree, though when he expressed “concern” about how expensive this was going to be, I reminded him of what he said when he decided to go.  This might just be the last time all five of us spend an entire weekend together – just the five of us (without friends, significant others and into the future – spouses, grandchildren).

Then last night was an appointment with another recruiter for Mack.  I believe he has finally decided on the Air Force.  In the recruiting office was a girl who actually went to high school with the boys and graduated last year.  She just finished up boot camp and tech school and was home on leave.  It was really good to talk to someone who had just gone through it and had the experience fresh in their mind.  As a mother, it gave me reassurance.  Though I found tears rolling down my eyes with the realization that I won’t have contact with my son for that time, something I cannot imagine considering the longest separation I have ever had with any of my children was my recent vacation, but then I was able to message them everyday on Facebook. I asked the recruiter if I could write letters to him while he was there, and he said “everyday if you like.”  I told Mack I would write him a personal blog every single day, and I intend to. 

Remembering when the boys were little, I recall sometimes thinking I would not be sad when they grew up and went away.  Not because I wanted to get rid of them, but because when you are a parent of young children, you often look into the future and think you will be proud of them, and strong enough and ready to let them go.  Now I know that is a myth.  As a mother, you probably never will be ready to let them go.  

Look Into the Crystal Ball and Imagine What the Future Holds...

Last night I was watching “How I Met Your Mother”, one of my all time favorite shows.  Despite the fact that it is a sitcom, it seems each episode either includes a lesson/moral of the story OR better yet, makes you reflect on your own life.  In the episode, Ted, Marshall and Barney are getting together for a viewing of the Star Wars Trilogy, which they have done every three years since college.  Each time they watch it, they imagine how their lives will be three years into the future, when they watch it again.  And every three years their lives somehow didn’t turn out quite the way they planned.  I think most of us can relate to this, and it made me reflect on my own life, what I thought would be and how wrong I was, and about what I envision three years into the future, which I may not be right about.  Three years ago, I was working a corporate job, which I have to admit, I did not care for very much.  However, at that point, the money was good and I imagined it would get better.  I had wild dreams that the company I was working for might upgrade their computer operating systems to something invented in this century.  I imagined, all of the inefficient processes would be streamlined and I, of course being the hero of the story, would be the one to save the day and implement this whole process.  In my 2009 “head”, I would be running the whole company by 2012 and receiving large bonuses and pats on the back. My family would be living in a half million dollar house on the Bay and our summer home would be at some swanky resort in Door County.  I would travel to Europe on a yearly basis, during the five week vacation the company awarded me with because I was so darn good!!

As you all know, that did not happen.  And I am glad it didn’t.  When God closes a door, he opens a window.  I lost that job.  I am still not sure why.  I was told the department was being “re-organized”, and I was hurt; because I thought did my job well.  But maybe those who made the decision to eliminate my position could see my unhappiness with my job there.  Maybe I was that transparent.  Maybe I wasn’t that good at putting on the face of the happy employee, thinking I was hiding my disillusionment with my job with the skills of a Ninja. So here I am three years later, more than halfway done with my Associate’s Degree in the Paralegal Program.  Working as much as I can in a law office, which is the BEST job I have ever had.  I don’t have that half million dollar home, nor do I go on trips to Europe. Yet, I spend a lot more time with my kids, being a mom and wife, cooking and cleaning and playing taxi driver.  And when I wake up each morning, I look forward to the day ahead of me.

Three years from now, I imagine I will be working full-time, perhaps long hours in (hopefully) this same law office.  One of my sons will be almost finished with college, and the other following a path that may yet to be determined, but possibly in the Military.  My daughter will be in High School, straight A student of course.  Three years from now, I will also still be writing, maybe even publish a book.  (Ok it might just be a cute little book called “My Facebook Memoirs”, but it will be funny and you will all want to read it!)  Though I am pretty sure I won’t be traveling to Europe, realistically I may be just traveling the United States in an RV, camping at National Parks on vacation.  Though I will be done with school, I will still be in contact with my instructors and classmates from NWTC.  I am trying to be a bit more realistic when looking into the future this time!  

Last week, I sat in a friend’s living room with her and two other friends (all of us students at NWTC, though a variety of ages and program choices) and talked and laughed.  The four of us haven’t always been friends, but something brought us together, though if you had told me two months ago those four people would be spending time together, I probably never would have believed it.  The truth is, you never know what is going to happen in the future, and when you find yourself there, you may be pleasantly surprised. 

Look Into the Crystal Ball and Imagine What the Future Holds

Last night I was watching “How I Met Your Mother”, one of my all time favorite shows.  Despite the fact that it is a sitcom, it seems each episode either includes a lesson/moral of the story OR better yet, makes you reflect on your own life.  In the episode, Ted, Marshall and Barney are getting together for a viewing of the Star Wars Trilogy, which they have done every three years since college.  Each time they watch it, they imagine how their lives will be three years into the future, when they watch it again.  And every three years their lives somehow didn’t turn out quite the way they planned.  I think most of us can relate to this, and it made me reflect on my own life, what I thought would be and how wrong I was, and about what I envision three years into the future, which I may not be right about.  Three years ago, I was working a corporate job, which I have to admit, I did not care for very much.  However, at that point, the money was good and I imagined it would get better.  I had wild dreams that the company I was working for might upgrade their computer operating systems to something invented in this century.  I imagined, all of the inefficient processes would be streamlined and I, of course being the hero of the story, would be the one to save the day and implement this whole process.  In my 2009 “head”, I would be running the whole company by 2012 and receiving large bonuses and pats on the back. My family would be living in a half million dollar house on the Bay and our summer home would be at some swanky resort in Door County.  I would travel to Europe on a yearly basis, during the five week vacation the company awarded me with because I was so darn good!!

As you all know, that did not happen.  And I am glad it didn’t.  When God closes a door, he opens a window.  I lost that job.  I am still not sure why.  I was told the department was being “re-organized”, and I was hurt; because I thought did my job well.  But maybe those who made the decision to eliminate my position could see my unhappiness with my job there.  Maybe I was that transparent.  Maybe I wasn’t that good at putting on the face of the happy employee, thinking I was hiding my disillusionment with my job with the skills of a Ninja. So here I am three years later, more than halfway done with my Associate’s Degree in the Paralegal Program.  Working as much as I can in a law office, which is the BEST job I have ever had.  I don’t have that half million dollar home, nor do I go on trips to Europe. Yet, I spend a lot more time with my kids, being a mom and wife, cooking and cleaning and playing taxi driver.  And when I wake up each morning, I look forward to the day ahead of me.

Three years from now, I imagine I will be working full-time, perhaps long hours in (hopefully) this same law office.  One of my sons will be almost finished with college, and the other following a path that may yet to be determined, but possibly in the Military.  My daughter will be in High School, straight A student of course.  Three years from now, I will also still be writing, maybe even publish a book.  (Ok it might just be a cute little book called “My Facebook Memoirs”, but it will be funny and you will all want to read it!)  Though I am pretty sure I won’t be traveling to Europe, realistically I may be just traveling the United States in an RV, camping at National Parks on vacation.  Though I will be done with school, I will still be in contact with my instructors and classmates from NWTC.  I am trying to be a bit more realistic when looking into the future this time!  

Last week, I sat in a friend’s living room with her and two other friends (all of us students at NWTC, though a variety of ages and program choices) and talked and laughed.  The four of us haven’t always been friends, but something brought us together, though if you had told me two months ago those four people would be spending time together, I probably never would have believed it.  The truth is, you never know what is going to happen in the future, and when you find yourself there, you may be pleasantly surprised. 

And They Didn't Even Card Me!!!

Yesterday, April 3, 2012 brought us the Primary Election for Wisconsin.  Not only did I have to adjust to a new “polling place” (this changed from a school to a church. I find it ironic that we are voting in a church considering the whole “separation of church and state.”), but I also had three 18 year old young men with me.  One of my sons was anxious to become a registered voter. My other son “declined” to get involved, yet decided to joke around with people in the parking lot asking them who they voted for, which I told him he COULDN’T do, no matter how charming he thought he was.  Then there was my nephew, who also really wanted to register to vote. As a side note right here I have to say I found turning 18 rather anti-climatic, yet these kids find simple joy in the fact that they can legally purchase lottery tickets, get a checking account, and vote. 

Back to my nephew though…. I told him he was welcome to ride along, but since he did not live in our neighborhood, and in fact not even the City of Green Bay, it was doubtful they would let him register to vote at our polling venue.  Still, I have to hand it to him, he tried. He almost pulled a fast one, as the nice elderly woman who was helping the boys was asking about his address.  Of course he handed her a check stub of his with his address on it (his main concern being she would know how much he made, rather than the fact that he wasn’t in the appropriate place to register).  And finally she noticed it, saying “Oh, you can’t register here!  You live in Suamico!”  He did that “Awww seriously! Darn it!” thing that teenagers do when she told him. Of course the worker called many different places to give him the information about where he SHOULD go.  As she was doing this, Zak, my nephew was taking cookies off of the “snack table.” (Wow, I am kind of liking this voting at a church, because you get a small meal while you are there!)  I walked up to him and said “I told you that you couldn’t vote here because you don’t live here.”  I asked him if he knew where to go in Suamico to vote. He said “Yea, but it doesn’t matter, I am not driving ALL THE WAY to Suamico just to vote.”  With a perplexed look on my face I said, “Um yea, but Zak, you LIVE in Suamico.  Eventually you have to go home.”  He said, “Well I just want to hang out with my cuz’s right now instead.” It’s a shame that the voter registration workers didn’t buy into the “home is where the heart is or where your cousins live” theory.

Myself, I did get to vote, and they didn’t even check my I.D. to verify I was who I said I was.  But you know what, if they had asked me for it, I wouldn’t have minded at all. After all, I have to show I.D. to check out a library book, buy a bottle of wine, and make changes to my mobile phone plan at the Verizon store, so I would gladly show my I.D. to vote.  After all, I wouldn’t want just any person walking in and pretending to be me and take away my freedom to have my say about who is elected!