Goodbyes and Hello to New Adventures

The end of the semester is drawing near and we are all wrapping up final assignments/projects and hoping to get them completed early so we can get a start on the Christmas season.  However, my mind has been elsewhere lately.  On Monday, I took my son Mack down to Milwaukee to drop him off to ship off to the Air Force.  (Thank you thank you thank you for the moral support and driving skills while a mama had a meltdown to my/our very very very awesome, magnificent and outstanding friend who accompanied us.  I love you to the moon and back for being there; knowing the right things to say to keep the conversation positive and provide us with laughter on what might have otherwise been a real downer of a trip!)  Mack stayed in a hotel on Monday night, did his final “stuff” – height and weight check, contract signing and sworn in to active duty – at the Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) on Tuesday morning.  By noon on Tuesday, I received a text from him that he was on his way to the airport to fly down to San Antonio.  Relief knowing that his crazy metabolism did not cause him to lose too much weight overnight and he made the minimum.  I personally have no clue where he got that from because I definitely do not suffer from an overactive metabolism myself!  Many texts later, after 10pm at night, he told me he was in San Antonio, on the bus to Basic Training.  Heading into 8 weeks – 44 working days - of getting his butt kicked for a kid who grew up with the most easy going mom with very few rules and a lot of love.  I am sure he can count on one hand how many times I have actually yelled at him in the past 19 years.  Tuesday afternoon I received a phone call from him and it was great to hear his voice.  He sounded good and said it was not as bad as he expected – so far – that no one was too mean … so far.  Though I understand this is called Zero Week and the worst is upcoming over the next two weeks.  At the point I spoke to him, he had not yet gotten his head shaved, hair he has not cut for almost a year which has turned into this crazy curly thick mess usually hidden under a knit beanie type hat worn even in summer, hair which he figured at least added one pound to his weight.

My son signed into the Air Force for 6 years, so although we will fly to Texas and see him at his Graduation from Basic Training, he will be off to Air Force Tech School immediately after that (not sure where, but not likely close to home) and then stationed somewhere (hopefully) fabulous so that he can start the adventure of real life.  He will likely make a career out of this, meaning it is highly unlikely he will ever be back home for longer than a few weeks of leave, and it is unlikely he will ever call Green Bay, Wisconsin his home again.  As I am typing this, I am shedding a few tears at that thought.  If you are reading this and your children are still young, believe me when I say “you’re gonna miss this.”  What led up to his decision to join the military was not an easy road.  Both of my sons (and my daughter) are extremely intelligent.  Mack probably has a genius IQ.  However, if the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, Mack will zig-zag and take the long way around to get there.  He could score 100% on exams in high school, but refused to do homework because he felt it was a waste of time if he already knew and understood the material.  I have a crystal clear memory of sitting in the parking lot of West High School on an early morning in the Fall of 2009, after practically dragging him out of bed to get him to go to school, both of us crying.  I was asking him to tell me what I could do to help him, because as a parent I truly needed to help him to be successful and have a successful future, and whatever I was doing at that point clearly was not working.  So Mack went into several different alternative programs that he was probably far too intelligent for (night school, CESA) and did what he had to.  When he told me he wanted to drop out of the CESA program, I fought as hard as I could to get him into the GED2 program at West which would allow him to study for and take the GED/HSED tests fully paid by the school district and still receive a West High Diploma.  We knew this along with the other alternative programs meant he would not have a GPA on his high school transcripts, something a four year college would not accept unless he went to a 2 year school, such as NWTC.  He completed and passed all of the GED tests with honors (I believe this a 95% or higher score on each test) within 4 weeks.  We initially discussed him attending NWTC, however, as a student there myself, I knew that meant a lot of homework.  Since he was not exactly on board with this whole homework situation, he brought up his desire to join the military.  Since he was very young he had thought of being in the military, but now he was really going to do it. After investigating several branches of the military, he chose the Air Force.  As a parent, I asked him over and over if he was sure this is what he wanted to do.  Over the past months leading up to him leaving, each time he “wanted to talk” to me, I had concerns that he had changed his mind.  However, he committed to it and he has followed through… and now as I am writing this he is about to endure the worst 8 weeks of his life, yet I know he understands it is all worth it.  It seems like the past 19 years were as short as one day, and suddenly you are all grown up.  Son, although I miss you like only a mother could miss a child (feels something like my heart being ripped out of my chest when I am folding up your Pokemon blanket you have slept with since you were 6 years old and putting it away in a closet),  you make me proud and I love you. 

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security and conformity, which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.  The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure.  The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day, to have a new and different sun."   -  Christopher McCandeless, "Into the Wild"

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is less than a week away and though many people are focused on opening gun/deer hunting weekend aka deer hunting widow's weekend, Black Friday shopping, or a few much needed days off of work, I would like everyone to take some time to consider what you are thankful for in your life this year.  Since most of the big holidays occur at the end of the calendar year, it seems to be a good time to reflect on the past 12 months.  One year is 12 months, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525,600 minutes or 31,536,000 seconds.  That is a lot of time to consider.  Many families have a tradition to go around the Thanksgiving dinner table and take turns stating what they are thankful for.  In recent years, the downturn of our economy has likely changed what we are thankful for.  No longer are we thankful for material possessions, expensive vacations, and a six figure income - the things we are thankful for are often things we cannot put a price tag on.  Some of us are thankful to be working at all, even if it at a minimum wage job or two jobs.  

I asked some friends to tell me what they are thankful for this year, so before I get into my own list of "giving thanks",  I would like to share some of their responses:

" I am thankful for my family ...but im also thankful for facebook cause in the least year alone i have found alot of people that i normally would not see on a regular basis and to find them well and to catch up on old times or family that is in other parts of the state that i get to either talk to or just read what they are up to....cause nowadays you just don't know what can happen from day to day....one day they are here and the next they are gone. I have had a lot happen in the last year."

"My savior, my family, my health, and the world for it is our play ground."

"my kids, first and foremost. but i am sooo thankful for my family and friends. and I am really thankful for my ex husband. He really showed me what i DONT deserve, and from that, I became independent. hahahahahaaaa."

"I'm thankful for a roof over my head, food in my belly, a job, parents & a brother that i love dearly."

What am I personally thankful for this year?  My beautiful, intelligent and healthy children. My husband who is the hardest working man I know, loves me more than anyone ever could, thinks I am beautiful even when I am not, and is truly a partner in life showing me the meaning of "no matter what, we will make it work."  My mother, my sisters, my brother, my brother in laws, my sister-in-laws, my nieces and nephews and cousins and all of my extended family.  The opportunity for education.  The roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in at my cozy new home I moved into this year.  The ability to work, regardless of how much or little money I make.  My dog who is neurotic and goofy and a little bit dumb, but is truly a member of our family.  Conversations at the kitchen table with my family and friends. Friendships that give me a second family and make me feel a little less alone in the world.  The kindness of friends and family.  Understanding. The freedom I have because I am an American citizen. Church and my faith in God, whose hand I have felt on my shoulder guiding me through life so much in the past 12 months. Unlocked doors which mean I might come home to unannounced visitors or I may be an unannounced visitor in someone else's home. Friday nights and Sunday mornings. Genuine laughter.  Sunshine. Forgiveness I have been given and have found.  And finally...my life... filled with love.   

188 Days Until Summer

Yesterday with the first flakes of snow falling from the sky, summer seems like a hundred years into the past or the future. I was personally confused about these flakes of snow thinking it was possibly dust flying out of my head to clear it from the crazy weekend, but it turned out that it was indeed snow.  As expected, Facebook was loaded with posts about the snow, but one comment caught my eye.  My best friend's daughter made a comment "189 days until summer!"  I responded by stating that makes it sound so far away.      With the positivity that only a 13 year-old could possess, she told responded back by telling me to "just do 189 crazy things, and it'll be over like thaaat!"  At my age, "crazy things" are a bit different than what they used to be.  Regardless of that, it got me thinking about fun things to do that will pass the time of these winter months, especially when many people suffer from seasonal depression.

Sit around a bonfire or in front of a fireplace drinking hot cocoa and eating s’mores. Add Bailey’s to the hot cocoa. Make snow angels. Go sledding.  Jump in a pile of raked leaves.  Spend the afternoon at the library. Spend an entire day in pajamas reading books. Have a Holiday movie marathon including “A Christmas Story”, “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  Go to the Garden of Lights at the Botanical Garden.  Take your kids, grandkids or someone else’s kids to meet Santa at the mall.  Write letters to friends and/or loved ones who are in the military or overseas and will be away for the holidays.  Do the Polar Plunge.  Go for a ride on the back of a snowmobile.  Go to a tree farm where you can chop down your own Christmas Tree.  Play a board game with your family. Play Wii or Xbox Kinect games with your family.  Watch the Packers win more games. Spend the weekend at an indoor waterpark.  Dance in the rain or snow and sing at the top of your lungs.  Sing Karaoke.  Invite friends over to your house for a fondue dinner.  Buy a Christmas Gift for a less fortunate stranger.  Make up goofy new lyrics to all of the Christmas Carols you know and sing them at the top of your lungs.  Get a manicure, a pedicure, or a new hairstyle. Buy cheap Christmas ornaments at the Dollar Store and decorate them yourself in your own creative way.  Have a chili cook-off with your family and friends.  Put on a formal dress (prom dress, bridesmaid dress, wedding dress) and spend the entire day in it just walking around your house like a soap opera star.  Bake Christmas Cookies and get creative with your decorations and do a cookie exchange with friends. Do a “winter cleaning” day.  Buy a fur coat at Goodwill and wear it to the grocery store.  Shovel snow for a neighbor.  Have a snowball fight with your kids, your dog, your friends.  Build a Nativity scene or Christmas village out of popsicle sticks.  Go wine tasting on a Saturday afternoon. Make breakfast for dinner. Make dinner for breakfast.  Watch the sunrise on a wintry day. Watch the snow melt on a spring day. Spend the day in fuzzy slippers.  Wear a Santa hat.  Go ice skating.  Play laser tag. Make a fort with blankets in your living room.  Move your couch or loveseat into the kitchen. Have an indoor picnic.  Have an indoor picnic by candlelight. Go to Sam’s Club and try all of the free samples. Visit a museum.  Visit a local art gallery. Join a book club. Join a cooking class. Make a meal for someone who is extremely busy and deliver it to their home.  Write a Christmas Play and act it out (complete with costumes) and video record it.  Kiss someone under the mistletoe.  Write inspirational thoughts on post it notes and stick them all over someone’s house who needs cheering up. Make a snowman. Do a jigsaw puzzle. Call someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile and talk on the phone rather than just text or instant message. Throw a party with a “worst holiday sweater” contest/theme.  Build a snowman.  Knit a scarf.  Eat an icicle. Cut out snowflakes and hang them from your ceiling like you did in elementary school.  Write a short story, a long story, a song or a poem.  Go to a music store and try out all of the instruments.  Babysit for someone who desperately needs a night out… for free. Make someone laugh.  Make a photo book as a Christmas gift for someone special. Spend all day with your best friend just talking about anything and everything.  Laugh until you cry.  Cry until you laugh. Take a bubble bath.  Eat macaroni and cheese in the bubble bath. Volunteer for a cause you believe in. Clean out your closet and donate what you don’t want, need, or fit into to charity.  Go to the gym. Re-arrange your furniture.  Ask someone to be your valentine.  Drink green beer on St. Patrick’s Day.  Kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s Eve.  Make a music video.  Make a parody commercial.  Learn to play guitar.  Take a horse and carriage ride.  Replace your regular lotion with suntan lotion so you smell like summer.  Have an indoor beach party.  Go downhill skiing.  Learn to ski.  Write a letter to Santa from your adult self.  Sing in church, at the top of your lungs. Dance with a stranger.  Hold hands.  Tell someone you love them.     

And lastly.... make your own winter "bucket" list! 

The Holidays Are Right Up The Aisle

Does it seem that immediately after Halloween, we skip directly to this Christmas mindset?  As I was (last minute) costume shopping for my Halloween, initially I was unable to find the Halloween Costumes.  Walking down the main aisle at Shopko all I could see was a beacon of Christmas lights and trees and decor.  I finally found the picked over Halloween aisle hidden next to scads of wrapping paper, Santa Claus decorations, and basic Christmas Bling!!! I probably should not judge considering when I moved into my new house on September 1st, my biggest worry while arranging my new living room furniture was deciding whether to put an end table in a certain corner because that was where the Christmas Tree would go.  I am enamored by the faux Christmas Tree I purchased last year simply because it is pre-lit.  For years everyone I know has had a pre-lit tree while I fought with stringing lights, burnt out lights, endless last minute trips to Family Dollar because strings of lights from last year had burnt out and running back because I didn't buy QUITE ENOUGH to cover the entire tree.  My Christmas tree toppers have included a half decapitated Angel that my daughter broke because she thought it was a toy,  crooked stars that just didn't sit right,  heavy objects that practically tipped tree over, and something that looked like a glittered elf hat which caused me to find glitter all over my house well into Summer!  

My point is, once again, I am just not ready for Christmas yet.  I haven't even decided how big of a turkey my sister needs to cook for Thanksgiving, or reminded her not to forget the stuffing and we don't want that stove top junk,  or busted her trying to pass off pumpkin pie from the Piggly Wiggly as her own just because she took it out of the plastic container (this required me searching thru her trash to find the covers because NO WAY did she bake that pie!)  This year Christmas might be even more difficult for our family because as long as my son Mack who has a ridiculously high metabolism gains the 9 pounds required, he is leaving for Air Force Basic Training on November 26th.  This means that he won't be with us for Christmas.  This would be the first Christmas ever that he was away from me and away from his twin brother.  I have tried to focus on the true meaning of Christmas, celebrating the birth of Jesus, in hopes that would help me find peace  with my son's absence for the Holiday, and it has helped me a bit.  Christmas to me is not about giving or receiving grandiose gifts, the real joy in Christmas is that it brings family together and as Jesus would want it, it is about LOVE.  With this in mind, I believe we may just have to turn November 22nd into a holiday trifecta of Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's all rolled into that one day.  Money is tight these days so no, that doesn't mean early gifts for my family, what it does mean is a whole day full of love and togetherness.  I am pretty sure we can pull it off!

Happy Holidays!