Judgment Day

I have officially taken all of my mid-terms and completed all of the homework that needs to be done before my vacation. I am feeling pretty good – accomplished. This morning I found out that I received a 94% on one of my mid-term exams, which I am pleased about.  However, I may have mentioned this before, but being an overachiever and perfectionist, I am always disappointed when I don’t get 100%.  Kind of ridiculous because an A is an A, right? In the grand scheme of things the only people who know what percentage of an A I received would be the instructor and me. Maybe I want to impress the instructor?  Maybe I want to impress myself? Maybe I set such high expectations for myself that I let myself down in situations where most people would not be let down?  At one point in my life a few years ago, I decided it might be better to “aim low.”  I remember telling my sister she should try being an underachiever because a person sometimes gets much more satisfaction out of it. She was stressing about a party she was having and asking me if it was appropriate to serve the food on paper plates.  I told her maybe from now on she should always serve meals on paper plates, because then the one time she broke out the good China, or even plastic plates, people would be impressed and pleasantly surprised.  When people expect less out of you, they are enamored by you when you give them a little bit more.  The problem is when people expect perfection out of you, they are disappointed if you give them any less (even if it’s only 6 percentage points less).  I do that to myself all of the time. Set my goals so high that they are often impossible to reach, and then when I don’t completely meet them, as in the case of the 94% versus 100% on an exam, I am disillusioned with myself.  I am sure that others in my life don’t have such high expectations of me. They probably see me more objectively than I see myself, knowing my flaws, but accepting me for them anyhow… hopefully…

With all of this studying of law I have been doing the past few days, there is a word that keeps coming up.  Judgment.  In terms of the law, a judgment is usually passed by a judge or a jury of you peers. Judgment in the legal world means a conclusion that has been reached based upon evidence presented.  Some times a judgment can be monetary, sometimes compensatory, and sometimes punitive.  A debt to be paid. An act to be performed or ceased. A sentence to be served. However, in our personal lives judgment can be made by anyone we come in contact with.  It is not usually monetary or compensatory, though at times it can be punitive in nature due to how we end up feeling about it.  Much of the time we are judged upon past actions.  A long time ago I read a quote that said “the best way to predict the future is to look at past history.”  Judgment by others is not always bad; sometimes it is brought about by someone who feels it will help us and does not feel they are truly judging.  That is where advice comes in. It goes hand in hand with judgment. Sometimes advice is simply the opinion of another person.  Sometimes opinions and advice are laced with hypocrisy.  It’s easy to give advice to others because unless you are a completely morally corrupt human being, you know the difference between right and wrong.  It is easy to preach to others about what they should and should not do. However, if you are on the receiving end of this, it’s hard not to get upset when the person giving you that advice, should be the one taking it themselves, especially when that advice is unsolicited. Meaning we didn’t ask for it and that the subject being advised upon was brought up by the advisor assuming you wanted advice about something you weren’t even discussing.  The world would be a lovely place if we could all take a good look in the mirror before we open our mouths. There is no way to understand what another person has gone through, is going through, unless you have been through it yourself.  (I often have to bite my own tongue in these situations.) Maybe try to walk a mile in my purple snakeskin boots before you judge. And be careful, because they are 4 inch heels, so like me, you might just trip and fall occasionally – just pick yourself back up and keep walking!!!