What Is A Friend?

What is a friend? Is it a BFF, a bestie, a sister from another mister or a brother from another mother?  A friend is someone with whom you share my random, often ridiculous, thoughts and moments.  When you speak, a friend will listen, with interest and give feedback, opinions, advice, encouragement and when you need it, a little bit of tough love.  A friend will remember EVERYTHING about you, good and bad, because a friend wants to know you well enough to ACTUALLY know you.  A friend can predict your actions and reactions as if they were her own.  When you are hurt, a friend will feel that hurt and keep you in her heart even if she is not with you.  A friend is the first person you want to share good news with and when you are happy and will share that happiness with you.  A friend will care about your family, your health, your MENTAL health, your career, you goals and aspirations.  If a friend only has $20, she will loan you $15.  A real friend will have your back, no matter what – even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with you, she will take your side. A friend gives you a sense of comfort in life and in her home, and has the same comfort in yours.  A friend never has to knock on your door; she is always welcome to walk right in. A friend will share their family, siblings and forever friends with you.  A friend never makes you feel like a third wheel.  A friend will open your eyes to things you may have never seen and expand your interests and open your mind.  A friend can make you laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh until you are almost crying, sharing your same warped sense of humor.  A friend will help you overcome obstacles and heartbreak and hurt, even if it just means just sitting next to you in silence for as long as you need her to.  Friends are not afraid to cry in front of one other.  They share secrets during the darkest hours and also on the finest days.  Friends might go to hell and back fighting for one another and WITH one another.  A real friend will call you at 10:00 at night to work out an argument or misunderstanding from earlier in the day because she doesn’t want you to go to sleep feeling bad.  You will never have to ask a true friend for help because she will know when you need it and offer it up before you even have a chance to ask. 

So when someone asks me “what is a friend?” - it isn’t a simple answer.  True friendship involves layers and layers of complex STUFF and hours of conversations about anything and everything. True friendship involves adventures and shenanigans and inside jokes and catchphrases and laughter and tears.  A true friend is the one person who can make you feel better when it feels like God has finally given you AS MUCH AS YOU CAN HANDLE.  A true friend is part of your “chosen family” and a true friend is rare, but if you are lucky enough to find one, that person will help you to feel a little less alone in this big, big world.