Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Sky is Crying

This morning, driving my son Cody to school for his very last day of high school, raindrops began to fall on the windshield and I said "Oh look Cody, the sky is crying because it is your last day of high school!" But as I pulled away from Green Bay West High School, I was crying too.  For my very last drop off there.  For the pride a mother feels knowing what wonderful young men her sons have grown up to be.  Even though Mack has already completed his high school path through an alternative program, he will also be walking graduation on Saturday, and though we went through some rough times, we all got through it and my boys and I are all better people for it.  No more sitting in the driveway at ten after seven yelling "Cab's here!" and honking the horn... and I am actually going to miss that. Although my daughter Rachel is only in 6th grade, I know the next 6 years are going to speed by in the blink of an eye as well considering it seems like yesterday that I was dropping the boys off for their first day of kindergarten.  So instead of continuing to write a sappy tear-worthy blog post, I would like to share something my son Cody wrote on his Facebook page last night, hopefully he won't mind if I share it with you.
"What did I learn from my four years in high school?  I've learned that friends aren't all that important, but education is essential. Regardless of how lazy of a person you are, that should be your number one priority. It's better to be able to concentrate on learning than to deal with unnecessary drama. Of course, it is important to make friends, in order to make memories, good or bad. People to look back to when you think of high school and realize how much you've missed it and honestly missed the good times as well as the drama. All in all, high school has taught me to be an individual and wait to let people accept you for who you are rather than conforming to a specific way just to make friends. No matter how smart you are, it will not make you any less popular. Popularity is just a curtain that hides the true ugly nature of some people. Respect your enemies just as much as your friends, as well as your teachers. It is a great thing to be able to be able to relate to a teacher and be able to approach them in the same manner you would a friend. And although I will graduate high school this Saturday, my final day of entering high school being tomorrow, I will always remember what high school was. Because all the good parts and the bad parts have made me into the person I am today. And I can honestly say that that is something I am truly proud of."


Friday, May 25, 2012

Hello Summer !

This weekend kicks off the unofficial start of summer.  The calendar marks the first day of summer as June 21st, (ok I am really just guessing on this one - maybe it's the 22nd - but likely you don't know the date either so we are just going to go with it as the 21st), yet most people relate the beginning of summer with Memorial Day Weekend.  When I was a kid, that meant school was done for the year, so maybe that is where it comes from.  Unfortunately for my own children, they have always had to go to school until the first or second week of June.  At any rate, Memorial Day Weekend is upon us, which means no matter how cold the water is, some of you will be finding yourself at a beach, lake, pool, cabin or campground this weekend.  Personally, I have yet to make any firm decisions about my weekend.  As I stated to one of my very closest bestest friends this morning,  I am being somewhat dysfunctional about scheduling my weekend.  I am currently trying to get the most out of my days until summer classes begin and I will be too busy with both work and school to have fun in the sun every free moment.  However, that makes it more difficult to decide what to do when there are so many options!  I am hoping to balance this weekend between friends and family, punctuated by a lot of sun, laughing, eating and drinking! 

This all brings me back to the ghosts of Memorial Day Weekends of the past.  There is a legend that it always rains on Memorial Day weekend.  I can't verify if that is the truth, or if it just means I always remember those Memorial Day weekends where the anticipation of it was ruined by finally "getting there" to sit inside a cabin or a camper or a tent all weekend without anything to do but play 400 exciting rounds of UNO, Scrabble, or Pass-Out.  One particularly memorable Memorial Day Weekend from in the early/mid 1990's, went horribly wrong when my husband decided that the traffic on highway 41 North was way to congested, and he was going to take a "back way" up to my parents' house in the Crivitz area. It probably took us an hour longer than it might have. The boys were very little at the time and not happy about being in the car for that many hours.  Neither was I.  We stopped in Peshtigo at a little grocery store to buy beer and they had 30 packs of Coors Gold on sale, which we purchased.  Finally got to my parents house, cracked open a beer and it was the worst beer we had ever tasted. As the weekend progressed, either it tasted better, or we just got used to it.  It rained all weekend, and we played 400 rounds of UNO at my parents kitchen table. We returned to Green Bay on Monday afternoon with one lone can left from the case.  We put it in the refrigerator, and thought nothing more of it... until we moved... and then we moved again... and then we moved again....that can of beer moved with us each and every time.  And though over the years no one would ever attempt to drink it, for some reason, we could not let it go.  Maybe over time we thought it represented something... or possibly we were just waiting for the opportune moment for someone to lose a bet, lose a game, and finally be forced to drink it. Over the years there would be those nights when one of us or one of our guests just wanted one more beer, but when offered, no one was brave enough to drink Mr. Coors Gold.  When we bought our house in 2004, that unopened can moved with us.  Finally, one night the subject came up about how they probably don't even make Coors Gold anymore, and discussion ensued - someone eventually had to drink that can of beer.  Although he had been offered that beer several times in the past, no one had ever pushed my husband's cousin Justin.  But this night, we happened to dare him.  And when you put it out there on a dare, Justin would not be one to turn it down, so in the blink of an eye, he drank that well-aged beer.  And to this day the empty can sits on a shelf in our garage.

Hello Memorial Day Weekend!  

 

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I am Honored...

I spent last evening in the auditorium of West High School for the Senior Honors Ceremony.  I am proud to say my son Cody was a participant in the ceremony, as he was awarded a large scholarship from Milwaukee School of Engineering (MSOE).  Cody will be attending MSOE in the Fall and initially chose the Software Engineering path, but has recently changed his major to Bio-Molecular Engineering, a relatively new program.  MSOE is one of the first colleges in the nation to offer this program.  Cody is not only blessed with extremely high intelligence, but also self discipline, and motivation.  He is one of those kids who can "correct" his parents, and then also follow it up with intelligent reasoning that often leaves me speechless. Cody applied to MSOE in September and when his acceptance letter arrived, it included the scholarship award letter, something he had not even applied for.  I am so proud of my son, I sat in the audience with tears in my eyes.  Yet it is also bittersweet because though I am proud of him, I also know this means he will be leaving me and our home to go forward with his future.  There is a commercial on TV where a father is giving his daughter the keys to the car and she is sitting in the car, and when they show how he sees her, she still looks about five years old.  That is how I always see all of my children, so even though he looks like a grown man, to me he will always be the little boy with frosting all over his face from his birthday cake and a contagious childlike laugh that could put a smile on my face, no matter how bad my day was. 

However, the Honors Ceremony was about more than just my own son.  And it touched me in many ways, some of them not even relating to my son.  To see so many seniors at West High School that have worked so hard in their education, community, and despite obstacles many of them may face (much of it financial), they have found success.  From the Associate Principal who told his own story of being a discouraged senior, to joining the military which helped him pay for college and eventually earn his Master's Degree, to those student who in high school have already joined the Army Reserves, standing on stage in uniform, it was genuinely inspirational.  The community members who presented local scholarships also had stories to tell which brought tears to my eyes. A mother whose son was a West High School Graduate, who joined the military and lost his life in Iraq, told her son's story and what led their family to create a memorial scholarship in his name. There was so much heart in that room last night, but also pride, and tears, a lot of tears. I wish all of the seniors up on the stage last night much success in life, and I am excited to see where their path in life will take them.

One of the students spoke at the beginning of the ceremony about "the best four years of your life",  which is how we as adults often look back at high school.  Yet he made it a point to remind the class that there have been lows as well as highs, the good part is that as time passes you forget the difficult times and hang onto those shining moments.  I think in LIFE we all tend to do that. Every moment from the past seems greater than it might have actually been. But isn't that the beauty in life? We can only see how good it was when we step away from it, not in the actual moment. 

As the ceremony concluded, and we got up from our chairs and waited for Cody, I looked up on the stage and saw him shaking the hands of his fellow honorees, taking extra time to talk to those who will be or already are serving in the military.  Such a gracious and kind young man he has become, taking the time to also "honor" his fellow honorees.  I wiped away my tears and felt like the luckiest mom in the room. 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Staples and Fax Machines: The War on Women in the Workplace


On Monday, serving a life sentence in the NWTC book buyback line next to my dear friend (who, by the way, had once warned me “the devil lives in that line” – still not sure if I believe you, dear friend - but thank you for buying me a beverage and pastry as I truly believe you might have been put on this earth simply to ensure that I am fed!) brought about the feeling of a typical end of semester weekday.  Little did I suspect the danger that lie ahead in my work week.  Now that the semester is over, I am able to put in more hours at the law office where I work.  With extra time on my hands, I have begun to take on more duties, yet I am still required to handle the day to day administrative tasks.  I will never complain about any of those tasks, as I am thankful to be gainfully employed.  However, a few incidents that occurred this week led me to seek the truth about the war on women in the workplace.

Everyone is talking about it,  in regard to what happened with the State of Wisconsin Equal Pay Act.  Though I choose to keep my political views to myself,  I have a few non-political thoughts about this.  First of all, we are fortunate in the country to have both state and federal law.  There is already a federal law in place that covers anything thought to be lost with the state’s equal pay for equal work act, so I am not worried about it.  However, having mostly positive experiences in my work life, I often felt this “War on Women” was a myth, a fairytale of some sort.  After all, I have always felt I have been fairly compensated in my career based on my skill, responsibilities, and such.  This week, however, I came to know my own meaning on the “war”,  and it begins and ends with office equipment.  I didn’t even notice the analogy until my friend Jolene pointed it out to me - thank you!!  In industrial jobs, workers are trained how to handle tools, run equipment, they are taught safety first.  However, in an office, no one goes through safety training with us regarding the equipment we use daily.  Nor does anyone (including OSHA) feel they would be of any danger to the common person.  Maybe that is the operative phrase, as I have never been a common person.  Known to run into open doors, shut doors, steel poles, trip over “nothing” and fall to the ground randomly, miss a step and slide down two flights like I am on the Olympic luge team, I am definitely not graceful.  (And just an FYI for those of you chuckling, I am sober and wide awake when these incidents occur!)

It started with a fax machine.  For some reason, I had to fax a document.  (Again, thank you Joey for the comic relief in this one by asking me “Does anyone even fax anymore?”)  I had asked if it could be scanned and attached to an email, but apparently the entity I needed to send the document to, which shall remain nameless to protect the innocent, is incapable of receiving emails.  Perhaps they don’t have enough employees to man the email account, which doesn’t make sense if they have enough to pull faxes off of the fax machine.  If you have ever used a fax machine, you will be familiar with the horrific screeching noises it makes as it is trying to dial and transmit.  If you have never heard this sound, you may have heard something similar if you had dial up internet which you obtained from your phone line and a free AOL cd you got in the mail back in the 90’s.  The worst sound you can hear after that is a busy signal.   This means the fax line is busy with other incoming or outgoing faxes and your machine is going to re-dial…. Perhaps 800 times… before it goes through.  Which also means every 2 minutes and 22 seconds you get to hear the screeching “dialing” sounds again.  The good news is that after an hour, it finally went through.  The bad news is that my eardrums have been irreparably damaged.

Exhibit number two of the “war” occurred today.  Part of my job is to type letters from dictation.   These letters more often than not require attachments, of which I have to make copies.  We typically keep the originals and send a copy in the mail with the letter to the party we are writing to.  The originals, often court documents and things of that nature, are usually stapled together, which means I have to remove the staple prior to photocopying.  Simple enough?   Not for me apparently.  Using a standard staple puller you would find in any office, I grabbed the staple and tugged a bit to remove it.  At this point the staple usually sticks to the puller or falls on my desk.  Not today!   Today the staple flew into the air and with the force, aerodynamics and precision of a missile shot out of a fighter jet, went straight for my eye.  Sharp pointy end piercing my eye, then falling to the desk as if it never happened.  So maybe my friend Jolene was right when she suggested there is a true war against women in the workplace as office equipment and supplies attack them.  I won’t let it discourage me.  I am off to battle again tomorrow, but deep down inside all I can think is “oh no! why?”  

Monday, May 14, 2012

What is Mother's Day?


Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when a woman named Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in America, and petitioned for it to become a national holiday.  Although that happened by 1914, it had already become a commercialized holiday by 1920.  For me, Mother’s Day is not commercialized.  For me it is about my own mother, my children, and so many of my dear friends who are the most amazing mothers I know.  From the single moms to the stay at home moms,  these women are all amazing, and I respect them deeply, because most of them live each day of their lives for their children.   

Being a mother, you live your life with the feeling that your heart exists outside of your body.  My three children have held my heart with them on a daily basis all of their lives.  Each time they are hurt or sad or happy or proud, I feel it all as if it is happening to me personally.  Though I am the parent, they have truly taught me, and made me what I have become.  From one son’s academic determination and mature way of handling life situations which shows wisdom beyond his 18 years,  to my other son’s strong values about maintaining his individuality and never giving in to peer pressure, to my daughter’s fearlessness and humor,  I have learned a lot.  Each of their individual traits influences me on a daily basis.  So on Mother’s Day, I should be showing THEM appreciation. 

My own mother has been there for me through thick and thin,  heartbreak, and losses of friendships, losses of jobs, graduations, marriage, childbirth, and new career paths chosen.  She has been there through my darkest days and shared my joy during my finest hours.  She has always stood by me, and never wavered with her support, never talking behind my back, or questioning my sometimes “questionable” choices.  She has let me be the person that I have become and allowed me to learn from my mistakes.  Without my own mother, my life would be very empty.   I am thankful that she has been such a huge part of my life, and will continue to be.

Lastly, I would like to share my son Cody’s Facebook post yesterday, which brought tears to my eyes, but in a good way: 

Happy mother's day to the woman who gave birth to my similar, but different, twin and my ecstatic little sister. You've molded me into the person I am today and have motivated me to go to college and set me up to succeed in life. I just want to take this time to thank you for all you do and have done. No matter how much we have argued or yelled at each other and had our disagreements, I'll always love you. Thank you for being my mom and I'm glad to be able to share you with two other siblings of mine.”

Happy Mother’s Day (a day late!)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Feel the Sun Shine on Your Face

Monday morning of finals week found me in need of motivational speaker to drag me out of bed.  But the week I have been dreading has managed to redeem itself.  Yesterday I took my son to UWGB to take an AP Psychology exam to test for college credit, and found out the fee had been mysteriously paid in full.  Then, when I got home, there was a large envelope in the mail from the State of Wisconsin Department of Financial Institutions, which put the fear of God in me.  I opened it up to find my certification showing I have been commissioned as a Notary Public.  Which put another smile on my face.  Tuesday - today - still in need of a motivational speaker to get me going came in the form of a text from a dear friend, who goes to work at some ridiculously early hour, and forgot her wallet at home.  This was a blessing, giving me purpose to get out of bed, clean myself up, and take a drive to drop off a few dollars for her.  I often tell my best friends that I will go to the ends of the Earth for them, but in this case the "ends of the Earth" simply meant De Pere. And to put the frosting on the cupcake of my morning, I just went into blackboard to check my grades to see a note in my Legal Writing course (which I took online, against the advice of many in my program) which stated "Congratulations, you earned an A in this course!" It might turn out to be the best week ever if I ace my Employment Law exam this afternoon and Civil Lit exam tomorrow.  Because by noon tomorrow - boom goes the dynamite - marking the end of another successful semester in the Paralegal Program at NWTC!!

Now that the semester is almost over, the sun has been shining and summer is almost upon us. So I would like to end this blog post on a more serious note.  May is Melanoma/Skin Cancer Awareness month.  Thirteen years ago, in May of 1999, I went to the dermatologist to have a large black mole removed from my back, as I was getting married that August and for purposes of absolute vanity, wanted the hideous mole removed so everyone would not be staring at it as I stood at the altar on the big day.  My visit to the dermatologist that day was perhaps the most frightening day of my life, as he told me that he didn't need a biopsy to tell him the mole was cancerous, Melanoma, one of the most dangerous forms of skin cancer.  The biopsy came back to show that the melanoma was just shy of a depth that might spread, however, for precautionary purposes, I would have to undergo surgery to remove all of the skin an inch in diameter around the site of the mole. A week later, a plastic surgeon removed a large mass of skin, an inch deep and in diameter from my upper back.  Rather than do a skin graft, he did a "Z" type cut and since I was still in my 20's with elasticity in my skin, he was able to pull it together.  Thirteen years later, the scar has not faded much and the nerve endings in the area of the scar are dead.  However, I am thankful to be alive. I would just like to take this opportunity to remind everyone out there to enjoy the sun this summer, but make sure you are applying sunscreen.  The number on the SPF will tell you how long it will last. An SPF 50 lasts five times longer than an SPF 10.  Many of us have the misconception that the higher the SPF, the less of a tan we will get.  You still get the same amount of sun, you are just protected longer, and have to reapply less.  There are so many good sunscreens out there which are worth the extra money you will pay for them.  If you can find one with Titanium Dioxide in it, this will protect you from the sun's harmful rays, and you will still get a golden healthy tan.  That golden color is GOOD, a burn is BAD. Just one bad sunburn could cause melanoma, so enjoy the sun, but protect your skin!!!

Friday, May 4, 2012

While I Was "Gone"....

The semester is almost over and I feel as if I have been living under a rock for the past five days.  Last minute homework has consumed me.  I am the type of person who always "thinks" that I will have enough time to get it done in whatever block of free time I have, but then I start working on it and I am too much of a perfectionist to just push through it as fast as I thought I might.  I have barely spoken to my family or friends.  I have been getting up at 5am every morning, taking a break to shower and work, but ignoring life that was going on around me.  The few times I was able to glance at my phone, it was blowing up with text messages, many of my friends asking if I was mad at them or if I was ok.  I felt horrible for my short responses, or lack of responses, but now I am finally back to the land of the living. I am sure my family will appreciate the fact that I am back on top of my domestic management duties so that they at least will have clean clothes to wear.  I am grateful to a dear friend of mine who allowed me to find solace at her kitchen table last night to complete the last of it.  (Though she is a single mom with two middle school aged children, a dog and a cat, it was easier to focus there than at home.)  And fortunately she lives very close to NWTC, so in between work and school and serving a life sentence in the library, she made sure I had a quick place to stop to see a friendly face and a quick dinner.   Next week I have two final exams to take, but strangely I always think the exams are the easy part.  It is the homework that stresses me out. 

What did I miss while I was gone in homework land?  I missed a week of stories from my adorable Rachel about her school day, every day, though she told them to me each day, my head was elsewhere.  I missed Cody telling me exactly what his work schedule was and something about an AP Psychology exam next week that I have to figure out over the weekend. I missed Mack explaining to me what exactly the Air Force Recruiter told him his next steps are.  I missed my husband explain a recipe for a dinner I was supposed to cook so I did not even know what I was cooking.  I missed my evening Facebook interaction/chats with Chelsea, my "amoeba", who almost fell into a deep depression due to lack of contact this week. It's all good Chels, I am back! I missed a jewelry party I had promised to attend and somehow spaced out in the midst of my homework haze.  And somehow I missed the fact that Kourtney Kardashian and Scott got married???? I obviously need my E! fix.  But in the end my friends and loved ones, it is all worth it.  Because working this hard means I have the motivation and passion for my Paralegal career.  It won't always be like this, though I do suspect this will soon be replaced by long work hours, which I am ready for. I promise my people there will be a lot less neglect than there was this week!!